Dikunjungi Tuhan

Mari berbalas kunjungan dengan Tuhan. Tuhan ke rumah kita, kita ke rumahNya.

Rumah Tuhan sih jelas² apik. Saban ke sana rasanya betah-krasan. Adem-anyem. Rumah Tuhan lapang lega, semua orang muat, semua amal tercatat, semua suguhan maknyus.

Rumah kita? Waduh, malunya.

Padahal Tuhan ingin berkunjung. Untuk menghormati kunjungan kita ke RumahNya. Untuk menilik, apa kabar ciptaan di rumahnya. Tapi rumah kita kecil, sempit,. Gentengnya bocor, ubinnya retak, debunya numpuk.

Suatu hari, karena kelamaan ga diundang² juga ke rumah kita, Tuhan nitip telegram lewat hujan & banjir. “Sop, lu masih inget Gue ga sih? Masih sayang Gue ga sih?”

Sambil nimba air yang masuk ke dalam rumah, kita balas telegram Tuhan. “Han, rumahku lagi acak adul gini. Masih mau ke sini?”

Tuhan pun datang, “Lagi acak adul aja Aku datang, apalagi kalau lagi rapi resik. Aku dimana kamu memanggilKu.”

Update: Diceritakan kembali di sini.

Cari Tuhan

Mencari. Tuhan. Istilah itu rasanya aneh banget.

Perlukah kita mencari Tuhan? Bukankah Tuhan nggak kemana-mana? Bukankah Tuhan ga perlu dicari?

Karena Tuhan ada di sini, dimana kita rela bersujud, serah diri.

Kenapa sampai harus dicari di buku, di agama, di Mekkah & Yerusalem? Kenapa kita kesulitan menata jadwal untuk bertemu denganNya?

Kecuali…Jangan-jangan tuhanmu bukan Tuhan beneran sampai harus dicari-cari seperti pacar, HP dan rejeki.

Uff!!

Sampai mana?

Mau ngapain kerja NGO? Semua duit yang berputar di NGO international datangnya dari umat gereja.

Yah, bapak pendidikannya cuma sampai agama Islam aja sih.

Katolik itu ngaco, tau! Mereka mengira dengan membayar uskup aja bisa beli tempat di surga.

Apa bedanya dengan konsep Zakat dan sedekah? Intinya kan sama: usaha membeli restu Tuhan.

Jadi kamu mau masuk agama mereka?

Jauh dari itu. Makin yakin dengan Islam, tapi juga memaklumi (dimana dan bagaimana) inti dari semua agama itu sama. Tuhan kita satu, Pak.

Kamu terlalu banyak mempelajari yang tidak penting!

Ye, bapak ngajarinnya sambil marah-marah. Siapa juga penasaran: Apa iya, segitunya?

Uncomfortable Question

In the years spent living in Indonesia, the hardest question I'm yet faced with is this: "Why would you choose to live in Indonesia?"

Whether it is asked by Saudis, Indonesians, or any other nationality, (and maybe I’m too sensitive about it,) but my ears always catch a derogatory tone in their curiosity.

When I ask them why they want to know, I often hear these assumptions:

• Indonesia is a downgrade from Saudi.

• If a Saudi could move anywhere, she’d upgrade to something better than Indonesia (and Saudi).

• It’s unconventional. (Let’s call it that, to be polite.)

I could’ve told them that I like getting on my bicycle every morning for coffee and quick errands. I could've told them that I like taking pictures and write in Indonesia. I could’ve tried explaining about the absence of anger. Or the abundance of kretek cigarettes. Or the smell of damp Indonesian grass; if grass could have a nationality.

What I really want to say is that, “I'm here because I have to; I love this place.”

Actually, if those answers fail to satisfy, then nothing would. But it still breaks my heart every time; because I feel like I’m doing this love much injustice by failing to answer properly. It really does.

If you were in my shoes, what would you have said?

Tough Job

When the job was assigned to him, the angel of death wept. "Lord, this is a tough job."

The Lord said, "Dying is not an end to living. Dying is a relief. Dying is an act of worship. Your job is to help them actualize that ultimate act of worship."

And the angel toughened up and went back doing his noble job.

Beyond

You know how we question our choices only when it’s too late?

After asking the Timekeeper about accepting the world as it is, I risked getting severely offended by asking him, “Are you saying that my life in Indonesia is defying gravity? That MY UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE HERE HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT AN EGO OVERDRIVE?”

“Absolutely, because you talk without the walk.” *laughing pause* “Nawh, I’m just kidding. Get off the floor. I get my kicks whenever you doubt yourself like this.”

Bless them elders who know exactly how make you feel stupid without saying so.

“Look at your basic needs. Before intimacy and love, before needs of self-actualization can be fulfilled, you must feel safe and secure. You didn’t have that in your old life. It’s not just the ego that made you fight for your unconventional life. It was the natural next step.”

If anything could prove his point, I look at my writings. I mean, haven’t I been better at talking about needs beyond security and safety since I repatriated?

PS: No, Ben, I’m not referring your deadlines.

Gapapa

Aku bilang bahwa aku lebih sayang ama Timekeeper.

Dia bilang, “Gapapa.”

…bahwa aku ga bisa masak, agak autis dan ADD.

Dia bilang, “Gapapa.”

…bahwa aku berantakan dan takut mandi.

Dia sempat tersendat ragu sesaat, tapi akhirnya bilang…”Gapapa juga.”

 

Sekali-kali aku pengen nanya ama dia, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

Segitunyakah?

 

Tapi, well, biarpun otaknya salah belah, it’s in my favorite color, man.