In the years spent living in Indonesia, the hardest question I'm yet faced with is this: "Why would you choose to live in Indonesia?"
Whether it is asked by Saudis, Indonesians, or any other nationality, (and maybe I’m too sensitive about it,) but my ears always catch a derogatory tone in their curiosity.
When I ask them why they want to know, I often hear these assumptions:
- Indonesia is a downgrade from Saudi.
- If a Saudi could move anywhere, she’d upgrade to something better than Indonesia (and Saudi).
- It’s unconventional. (Let’s call it that, to be polite.)
I could’ve told them that I like getting on my bicycle every morning for coffee and quick errands. I could've told them that I like taking pictures and write in Indonesia. I could’ve tried explaining about the absence of anger. Or the abundance of kretek cigarettes. Or the smell of damp Indonesian grass; if grass could have a nationality.
What I really want to say is that, “I'm here because I have to; I love this place.”
Actually, if those answers fail to satisfy, then nothing would. But it still breaks my heart every time; because I feel like I’m doing this love much injustice by failing to answer properly. It really does.
If you were in my shoes, what would you have said?
